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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it seems like there's a really unusual and complicated context you're not telling us about. It looks like you're trying to guide the discussion a certain way by leading people to believe that the situation is otherwise standard (think nuclear family living in a single-family home, with average kids and average parents) - but it doesn't seem like this is the case.[/quote]

I'm really trying to keep the focus on my main question, which is why I'm not giving too much back story.  I don't want this to derail.  I just thought maybe this was something new that people do with their teens now, and wanted to know if I'm upset over nothing.  I'm angry with the mom and sad for the teen.  I love that child and I'm so proud that she is able to grocery shop for herself and is able to cook some pretty good meals (when she has groceries).  The problem is she runs out of groceries and money (she only has a part-time job afterschool), and then starts to eat whatever scraps she finds.  She actually started hiding the food from her mom, because mom would eat it all up.  She does work at an eatery, so many nights she brings home the leftover food (mostly bread and yogurt).  She gets free lunch and I know she goes to school early so she can have the breakfast.  She told me she stopped eating the school lunch as much because it started to upset her stomach.  Also, if I offer her meals too many times, I can tell her pride gets in the way, and she does decline.

Also, if I'm feeding the teen and the mom knows this, then she will definitely not even bother to try and cook.  I feel like the mom would take advantage and I'm fed up with it.  At the same time, I know if I don't feed the teen then she won't eat a balance meal.  I already don't offer when the mom is there, because I don't want to offer her the meal.  I'm already doing so much to keep her afloat, and I don't want to also feed the mom.  I know I may sound like a horrible person, but I'm really trying to find a way to not be taken advantage of more than I already am.  I keep telling her she needs to pay for her housing but she pays me very little or nothing at all and life continues.

I have to find a way to make sure the teen is eating properly.  She is truly a wonderful girl![/quote]

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