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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Define Rough Patch..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]i thought DH and I were going through a "rough patch", then i realized it was because we have a small child, stressful jobs, no family around, and no possibilities of a vacation/reprieve. thank you, DCUM for providing real prospective (cheating, lying, assholes spouses). i read somewhere on here that no one should even consider divorce until all of their kids are over 5. this is accurate. [/quote] This is good advice. Moving to a new city, having twins and redefining my career sent us into a 12-18 month tailspin. I really thought we wouldn't make it. Some of the problem had to do with mis-matched expectations of co-parenting (i was raised by a very hands-on, involved father and my mom worked, DH was raised in a Leave it to Beaver household), which led to resentment. I don't know any marriages that have not been tested (to varying degrees) by the challenges of babies/young children. Lots of talking, some yelling, some counseling, making sure we carved out some time for each other, all helped us find our equilibrium. It's important to note that that point of equilibrium needs to be reevaluated regularly. If job responsibilities change, as kids grow and enter into different stages, the balance can shift and expectations or roles/responsibilities need to adjust accordingly. We also have a great 'village' to lend a hand in the absence of family nearby. We all help each other out.[/quote]
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