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[quote=Anonymous]In my experience, there are two kinds of rough patches:

Externally fueled rough patches which are precipitated by traumatic events such as illness in family, death of parent, job loss or other economic downfall, etc. These are generally rough on everyone and the marriage doesn't thrive because life is all about survival and getting through the calamity(ies).

Internally fueled rough patches, which are precipitated by distance within the marriage. Usually when one partner or both are busy or consumed by something that the other one is not (child rearing, work, etc), which leads to either feelings of resentment ("I do all of the _____ and s/he does none") or feelings of neglect ("S/he has time for ____ but no time for me"). Distance is created because spouses are focused on individual pursuits. The distance makes it easier to put off spending time together and turns everyday annoyances into things of "I have to live like this for the rest of my LIFE!?' magnitude. The distance means a lack of sex, which only exacerbates things. Partners soon find it difficult to remember why they like/love their spouse and focus only on the negatives because they are not allowing room for any of the positives to flourish.[/quote]

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