Reply to Ex-husband bad mouthing new boyfriend to children

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[quote=Anonymous]Fixed:

[quote=Anonymous]How do I handle my former husband's behavior?  He is telling the boys not to listen to my boyfriend.  Former husband is extremely jealous of my new BF.  BF is not going away. And I'm afraid of what he'll tell the boys.  My youngest son is already acting up at school, he's 5.  I'm concerned about the boys welfare.  Can a custody attorney help stop this behavior?????
[/quote]

I can't agree with anyone saying that you shouldn't date.  That's ridiculous.

HOWEVER, if the BF is involved in your children's lives then it's a relationship that you have to manage carefully.  They didn't choose the BF, you did, and you have to make it clear to them AND the BF that their father is still their father even if the guy is an asshole.  You set the ground rules that no one is allowed to badmouth anyone in front of the kids.  You can't enforce that with your ex, but that's his problem.

More importantly, listen to your kids because what you need to stay on top of is not what the ex is telling your kids, it's what they're telling him. People on DCUM frequently think about the kids' feelings last in divorce - "they'll get over it" - but that dismissiveness is usually at the root of behavior problems.  Just as an example, you would want to know if your BF is treating them differently when you're not around.  And if you're kids don't like the BF for some other reason, it's better for you to find out and modify your relationship with him than have the issue come up in family court.[/quote]

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