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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I feel that I need more warming up than I'm getting, because as soon as I'm doing it I enjoy it. [b]By warming up, I mean initiating, starting with kissing or going from back rub to more or whatever. But partner cannot or will not help me out. So I basically feel I need help lighting the fuse, but I have to do all the initiating.[/b] That is, 100%. I hate it. The low drive person doing all the initiating is a recipe for resentment and doesn't help the cause. I would actually argue that it's a form of cruelty. Especially when I have asked for help getting there in the most sincere way I can. It is a mystery to me, why he can't meet me even halfway.  I truly feel bad for my higher drive spouse and want him to be happy too. [/quote]

I think this might be part of the problem between DW and I. She is lower drive and she needs to be warmed up. I don't mind warming her up at all, *however* very often, she doesn't want to be warmed up or have sex. So, I let her initiate because I don't want her to feel pressured for sex when she doesn't want it. But she probably doesn't like having to initiate either.

Basically, I feel like I need to read her mind to know when she is up for being warmed up. Which, obviously, sucks. [/quote]

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