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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW and I are most compatible but mismatched libidos.  I would love sex 5-7x per week.  She is happy 1x per week (which is an improvement from 1x per month when kids were little).  Also, she is very vanilla, which is fine, but spice on occasion would be nice.

Now that we are 1x per week, its a manageable gap.  When it was 2 weeks no sex our marriage was miserable.[/quote]

Why post in the sexless marriage thread at all?  At its most sexual, my marriage was once weekly.[/quote]

Can someone explain why they are married if they are in a sexless marriage? I'm not asking the aggrieved party but the ones who refuse to have regular intimacy with their spouse (or who just don't make it a priority). It seems extremely cruel to the other partner. Why marry someone to subject them to a lifetime of no intimacy? [/quote]

I am lower drive. First of all, when I married I was high drive. Then kids came and everything changed. So it wasn't a bait and switch. Second of all, I don't "refuse." I feel that I need more warming up than I'm getting, because as soon as I'm doing it I enjoy it. By warming up, I mean initiating, starting with kissing or going from back rub to more or whatever. But partner cannot or will not help me out. So I basically feel I need help lighting the fuse, but I have to do all the initiating. That is, 100%. I hate it. The low drive person doing all the initiating is a recipe for resentment and doesn't help the cause. I would actually argue that it's a form of cruelty. Especially when I have asked for help getting there in the most sincere way I can. It is a mystery to me, why he can't meet me even halfway.  I truly feel bad for my higher drive spouse and want him to be happy too. [/quote]

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