Reply to DH wants me to "make nice"

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[quote=Anonymous]I know how you feel!  i went through this with DH's extended family.  My MIL/FIL were very nice but the extended family wasn't. I am not of their ethnic group and they treated me like shit - every single event.  DH and I nearly didn't get married because of his reticence/refusal in addressing it.  After a lot of counseling, I decided i would no longer go to his family events.  He was welcome to go himself (and take our kids after we had them) but I would not go.  Why in the world would i subject myself to rudeness, meanness and toxicity?

That was nearly 20 years ago.  My youngest is in middle school and all the kids are balking at going to extended family events.  They don't like the dynamics and how that side interacts with each other.  They've gotten pissed when they've heard DH's extended family say negative things about me.  We've discussed it as a family.  I want my kids to know that no matter who it is, they deserve to be treated politely.  If my kids find themselves in my position, I hope their partners would set boundaries but if their partners aren't, i want them to know that they have the power to do so.

No way I'd 'make nice' with the woman you've described.[/quote]

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