Reply to Emotional Labor - a good read for men AND women

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[quote=Anonymous]The book you're actually looking for is "Wife work" by Susan Maushart.  Here's a link to a review:
http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-58234-202-3

She wrote this a while ago and it's a great explanation of this idea that women do a lot of 'emotional caretaking' that men fail to see -- both of other family members and of the men themselves.  Women are still judged for not providing this emotional caretaking (i.e.  a bad mother fails to notice that her son is failing math;  but no one calls the dad a 'bad dad' if HE fails to notice; a bad mom fails to notice that her teen daughter is being bullied, has an eating disorder, etc.  She spends hours 'discussing' with the daughter things like whether she can get a tattoo, get her ears pierced, etc.  No one expects the man to do the same thing.  When my husband goes grocery shopping, he can't call up that long list of who won't eat blueberry waffles, who will ONLY eat blueberry waffles, who won't eat the yogurt with the things in it, etc.  He just buys food.  But if I did that, oh boy!)

She says that this explains why married men live longer and married women live less long than single women; why women suffer from higher levels of depression. . .

I read this as the mother of three toddlers with a deployed husband and BOY did it hit home!  It was also one heck of a depressing read because she doesn't really provide a solution -- But both spouses should read this book because it lays out the problem so clearly and gives you a lot to discuss.[/quote]

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