Reply to Doing for your kids vs. Kids doing for themselves

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[quote=Anonymous]I had my first in my mid 20's and my husband and I didn't have our second until 8yrs later (after tons of infertility issues)  As I was having our 2nd, I started to realize how much I have done for the 1st and will hopefully teach this one a little more independence.

Fast-forward and our kids are now 6 and 14 - both girls.

My 14yr old SUCKS at time management, autonomy, cleaning up her shit, preparing anything, doing chores, etc...  She is book smart, sweet, immature for her age but very loyal and kind to everyone.  She is completely content if I do things for her, even as a teen.  She works her butt off to prove to teachers and friends how smart she is, but gives up on herself too quickly.

My 6yr old has more of her own thought process, learns things on her own, makes a ton of mistakes but doesn't give up, has street smarts and common sense that I am not sure if the 14yr old has.  She isn't perfect in school but she is very smart and even if she doesn't apply herself all of the time, I know it is there.  She is a social butterfly too. Includes everyone.  She is not afraid of anything and just goes with the flow.

Now I know their personalities would have been different if I raised them as twins the same exact way.  But I know for a fact I did too much FOR the first child and I think it backfired on me.  And even though the little one drives me bonkers sometimes, she is the kid that I will worry about the least.  [/quote]

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