Reply to Doing for your kids vs. Kids doing for themselves

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We see this sort of side topic come up on other threads. I was curious about other people's thinking on this. A few caveats.

This is not intended to be a judgement on what other people choose. I would hope that people can discuss what they choose and why, expected results when the choice was made, and if possible actual results from experience of exercising that choice. It is assumed that, of course, all parents are making the best choices for their family from their knowledge, beliefs and experience. That is to say, I hope that differing opinions are not assumed to be judgements and that those difference can be shared without judgement.

The question comes up about the balance between doing FOR your kids (laundry, fetching their forgotten lunch to their school, making their lunches...) and requiring/expecting your kids to do for themselves. Obviously this is going to depend on age. Which way do you tend and why?
[/quote]

Funny you mention this.  I was at a basketball practice at a middle school last night and sat out in the hall most of the time with a pretty good view of the gym.  In that one hour, I saw four moms and only one of them with their child, go into a locker and get things and go back out the front door.  And I just laughed because I thought about if I left something in my locker when I was in middle school, my mom would say "tough shit"  LOL.   Well not really, but parents used to not do those things for kids.  And most of the time, moms weren't working.  I guess they were secure in their position.  I honestly think the current guilt has to do with the mom wars of either "staying home so this is my job" or "I don't stay home so I have to make up for it by doing anything to make it easier for them"  is the problem today.  Parents are so worried to prove to others and themselves that they are doing the best job, that they don't realize they are teaching their kids they are so perfect and don't have to do much of anything to contribute to that perfectness.  [/quote]

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