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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dating a very nice man for a year, he is 37 I am 32. We spent the holidays with my relatives and everything was fine. We got home and something just didn't feel right to me. I think I've been ignoring some things that I shouldn't have:

My biggest goal is marriage and a family. I have a successful career.

He wants to pay off debt, go back to school and possibly take a job elsewhere. He says he wants a family but not now, before 40.

My gut tells me he has a bunch of goals that he wants to accomplish (school, debt-free, stable job) and he won't get there in the next 3 years. I also get this feeling that it is his way or the highway. He keeps saying I have to support him no matter what, I think any major decisions should be joint. My gut is also telling me that he isn't all that excited about me or is holding back because he blocks nearly everything about us online while allowing friend stuff. I've talked to him about all of these issues and he tells me I should stop trying to change him.

What say you DCUM? 
[/quote]

While I think that it's great that he has these goals set for himself before he believes he will be ready to start a family, it really just doesn't sound like y'all are on the same page. It doesn't sound like you're trying to change him - the other way round, actually. I love my husband very much, but if he told me that I had to support him no matter what in something that did not comport with my major life plans, that would be unfair. It's not about supporting him vs. not supporting him.. It's about planning things together vs. not planning things together.

Also, the not being public about your relationship? What's up with THAT?[/quote]

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