Reply to Mother interfering with Christmas Day visit of another relative. Help!

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm Catholic, and I see your reference to corporal works of mercy, etc.

On that front-You still have a right have a holiday plan for YOUR family and have it respected.
You have a righto to be angry at this abuser. You can forgive her but also choose not to be in the room with them, and to be angry when people take the wind out of your sails (your holiday plans) to take a 5 hour drive to see her.

It sounds like your home is a "stop along the way" to visit Abuser (c).

I don't mean to victim blame here, but I wonder if there is a pattern in your family where you put yourself out and people treat your kindness like an all you can eat buffet (open 24/7).

I feel like your mom is taking advantage of her role as matriarch here, and not respecting that the generation below her has needs and expectations as well.

If you need strength, fight back for your kids.

HOWEVER, it is possible the best part of the day will be after they leave.  I sometimes fight for more family time, and then wonder why I did that. [/quote]

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