Reply to Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm.

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Will likely have to serve ex w/custody papers. Help me stay calm."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I've been in a similar position for about 10 years - unmarried, kids, have de facto custody and facilitate visitation, dad travels extensively for work.  So far we've managed without an official custody order, but I agree that adding a new wife to the mix in the future leaves things dangerously unsettled.  If you can take this opportunity to get things in writing, it would be good.

Have you given him a copy of the legal document you want him to sign, with an explanation that you just feel this is important now that he is planning on being out of the country?  Or are you just asking him in emails to plan something.

If I asked my ex to work with me to design a custody plan, he would probably avoid me.  But, if I gave him a document and asked him to meet to sign it or discuss it if there was something I disagreed with, we would probably get further faster.

What does "off the books" mean to him?  Does he understand that if you and he work out a formal written agreement, it will be rubber-stamped by a judge, and he will never have to appear in court and that the only thing that will be in the file is the order/agreement itself?  That if he doesn't respond to you then you're having to go through the court system to file for official custody puts everything "on the books" -- confirmation of service, any pleadings and responses by lawyers, etc. are all part of the public record.  So, anyone can go to court and read the pleading you file to ask for custody, which will include a complete recitation of his lack of involvement in the child's life and all your attempts to facilitate contact.

If I were him, I'd much rather be able to say, I travel a lot for work and my DC's mom and I decided it was better for DC if mom had full custody.

This is the way my baby daddy spins it.  "I'm a good father but I work overseas so much that the mom has full custody."  As long as he thinks others see him as a good dad, he is usually agrees to what I need.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics