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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I know with a lot of adoptees you can say that the BM wasnt able to care for a baby, or was young, etc etc. But that wont ring true in our situation. [/quote]

I have three adopted children.  The question of why their parents didn't keep them comes up every now and then.  My answer is always "I don't know" because I really don't.  One of my kids has an older sibling whom the birth mother kept.  When he asked why her and not him, again, "I don't know."  There are just aren't answers to every question our kids ask and that's ok for us to admit that to our kids.  I would never say that the birth parents couldn't care for them unless I knew that to be true, which I don't.  [/quote

How can you not have any idea?  Don't you think you owe your children some explanation?  I think what you are doing will ultimately be harmful and leave them with questions and doubts.  Please consult a social worker for some guidance on how to talk to your children about their adoption.[/quote]

Many people don't get any history when they adopt a child - me included.  If I knew the answers, I would tell my kids.  But since I don't, I don't understand why you think it would be more harmful to tell my children the truth than to make up a lie?  I don't get your thinking at all.  Of course my kids are going to have questions and doubts because there aren't answers to their questions.  They will just have to find peace with that.  [/quote]

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