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[quote=Anonymous]I realized after he died that I didn't really love my father. I don't miss him at all, and I realize what a terrible father he was, how much damage he did to me during his life. It took me a long time to get to that point, and I feel rather proud of myself for finally admitting it. No one who knew my father would believe me if I told them (I've told no one, not even DH), but I'm telling DCUM! I did love my mother, but she died when I was young. My father raised me. He wasn't an abuser, ie no physical violence, no alcoholism, just terrible parenting overall, something resembling what he thought was love, but was some essential neediness. I wish I'd figured this out when he was alive, but I was so twisted by his peculiar way of living and "loving" me. 
If you told me you didn't love your parents, OP, I would believe you. I wouldn't bat an eyelash, nor would I deny it were true. But other people who love their parents might not be so understanding. They can't comprehend how anyone could hate his/her parents, so don't try telling them. Wait and make sure you are telling the right person, someone who gets it. [/quote]

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