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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"My father recently apologized to me for not protecting me and my brother from her when we were kids."

Take this.  Build on this.  Be happy.[/quote]

Oh, please. NP here. My father has apologized for his rage and other actions several times in the last ten years. He is pretty sure the apology means that I now have to act like it never happened, and like it didn't take me until I was almost 30 to figure out how to treat people kindly, and have genuine feelings of my own. He caused a lot of damage, and he will never, never truly admit it and do anything about it (like really get treatment for his mental health problems). His apology is for him. Not me.

My mom has turned herself inside out over the years to smooth the path for him, even when that meant throwing my brother and me under the (his) raging bus. She still makes excuses and believes "he's usually right." These people nearly prevented me from ever being able to truly love anyone, since their model of love is that the one you love will take your shit and pretend like it doesn't matter.

There are a lot of years of my life I can't get back when I treated other people the way I was treated because I thought that was how people acted in intimate relationships. I truly believed that all the talk of "being in love" or "loving" your family was just for show and public consumption. Is it so shocking that I don't love them?[/quote]

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