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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hugs.  We are in the same boat and it sucks.  We are simplifying simplifying simplifying.  Have DH pick up some of the slack and let go of the rest for this year.  [/quote]

Hugs to you OP. This is good advice. Your kids are old enough to know you need some support. [b]Let people know what is going on[/b].[/quote]

Yes, do let others know what's going on. Don't try to put on a brave face for friends or relatives, and (within reason, depending on your kids' ages and personalities) don't be afraid to say to your kids that you're sad. And be very open to accepting help: Someone who's not you or dad picking up the kids from an event. A family friend being the one to attend a kid's holiday event at school or church (the kids wiil, in the bigger scheme of things, understand this). Food delivered for your family while you're away with dad. Whatever. People really do want to help in these cases, but often have no idea what to do and get a bit afraid to ask, so don't hesitate to say, "Jenny could use a ride to X" or "Could you have the kids over sometime this weekend so we can talk with the hospice people by phone, it'll take a while" -- or whatever.

Be sure that the kids get to visit with their grandfather. I'm sure that's already on your mind. It will be tough on them but you may be glad to see their compassion and kindness. We saw how much our young teen daughter was great with her grandfather when he was clearly dying.

I also agree with a PP who said that if you work, OP, please, get time off starting now. You might be able to use family and medical leave, depending on the size of your company. Go be with dad as much as you can, while still trading off some care time so you get a little time alone while at his place. I have been where you are now, though not at the holidays. It's worth it to just tell the employer that you need family leave under the law, or just compassionate leave of some kind. Time is now the most precious commodity for you.

So, so sorry for this situation, OP.[/quote]

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