Reply to Interacting with sexist inlaws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't wait for them to ask, just insert it into the conversation. When they do ask about kids, say something like:

"Billy is really doing well at school, and Janie is loving finger painting. It's so good that they are doing well, and that everything is going well for me at work, too. Did Bob tell you that I just landed a major new client?"

If they take the hint and follow the conversation more, great, if they don't, fine.

As for the name thing, unless it comes up in person, I wouldn't bother mentioning it. [/quote]

+1  Good tactics here.

OP, if they are otherwise pleasant, and you like them and get along with them, other than wishing they acknowledged your career more -- you are actually in better shape, relating to your in-laws, than most of the folks who tend to post in this forum. Sounds like your in-laws aren't toxic, or telling you how to parent, or playing their son/your husband so he'll give them more attention than he gives you. All those things come up on here, and worse, which provides some perspective....

Insert what you want in conversations and see what happens, but overall, this might be a case of generational blinders -- they may be from a generation/location/cultural background that means your career doesn't register with them. Is that thoughtful? Not really, but is it mean or toxic? No. They probably have no idea that you're hurt by this because they probably have no idea that they don't engage you like you want them to on this topic. If they were intentionally slighting your career, or implying that you should be at home and not working, etc., that would be one thing, but that's not the picture here.

Maybe you'd like them to see you as more than their son's wife and their grandkids' mother -- that's perfectly understandable.  That's why I'd try, as above, to introduce the topic at times and direct their attention to it, but as the PP says -- if they don't get the hint, fine. [/quote]

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