Reply to How to handle disrespect from a 3yo

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Reply to "How to handle disrespect from a 3yo"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]In addition to the suggestions here, I would model responses for her instead of having her figure them out. Once you model them enough times she will have the tools to use them.

To the person who said this is abnormal, bratty behavior, I really think much of the time it is the kid (luck of the draw) and not the parenting. As for "cracking down," cracking down made my son act out even more. Positive reinforcement worked much better.[/quote]

+10000 to modeling the correct response.  She is expressing her feelings--something you want her to continue to do--but she is doing it in a "rude" way.  Try something like "Saying 'get away from me' is rude.  Say, 'I want to to do it by myself, please.'"  Stick to it, and when she says "I want to to do it by myself, please," (have the sitter) respect that and step away.  When mine was 3 "Go away!" was her big thing.  We taught her to say "I want to be by myself," and it worked like a charm.  After she knew better, when she did use rude phrases, we would say "Use nice words, please," and ignore until she did.  Ir faded pretty quickly.

Again, with the dinner.  Tell her what she's saying is rude, and give her the polite words to express herself.  It's a little more tricky because you're not going to oblige her by making a new dinner (I hope!), but she should be allowed to express that she does not like a certain food.  She'll be eating it anyway, but she doesn't have to like it.  Maybe "Saying 'this is a bad dinner' is rude.  It hurts my feelings and makes me feel sad.  You can say 'I don't like spaghetti' or 'I wanted macaroni for dinner tonight.'"  If it's a recurring thing with dinner, maybe try incorporating her into the menu choices.  Not saying she gets to dictate everything, but if you're able to say "Macaroni sounds like a good choice.  We can have that for dinner tomorrow.  Tonight we're having spaghetti" it could help.

For people who think this is bratty behavior, abnormal, or a direct reflection of parenting, I think you really don't understand until you've been there.  Barring extreme circumstances, it truly depends on the child.  I have had two 3-year-olds, parented exactly the same way.  One said things exactly like OP's child, one did not.[/quote]

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