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[quote=Anonymous]I am Indian and have had both ILs and parents stay with us for extended periods of time.  It can be a good experience but you have to have some strategies to manage well.

The trick is to make them responsible for things in the house as well as spend some time with them.   My MIL and mom are responsible for the running the house. Mainly translates into cooking. I tackle the dishes and buy the groceries. Every morning, I will tell them my schedule and ask them what they need from me. In this way, they feel empowered, plus I benefit by not doing any cooking. I   make sure that I have the cleaners come at least twice a week... so that I do not have to clean and neither do my DH.  My MIL feels very upset when my DH has to do any cleaning, so, it is a worthwhile expense for me to have the cleaners and she also feels good that she has the manpower  to keep the house running well.

I usually come home to clean house, happy kids, wonderful food.  I praise them to all my friends, relatives and neighbors for whipping my house into shape. They need a lot of acknowledgement.  I also make sure that DH takes MIL and FIL out for lunch, shopping, and other touristy things, without me, at least once in a fortnight. I insist on paying for all their shopping, mainly because I know that our culture puts a premium on such things. It shows to my ILs that we care for them and respect them.  In return, my ILs will gift us with money. This makes them feel happy and in a position of power, because they are still looking after us (in their mind).

You have to figure out how to get them to do what you want to do, in a way that serves your needs as well as maintain good relationships.  It is like walking on tightrope, but, in our culture, that is a necessary skill that women have to hone.

I still carry on all my usual activities  (kids EC, socialization, gym) as usual. However, I try and include them as often as I can. I have hosted dinners at home and my ILs have met all my friends etc, and then retired to their rooms.

BTW - a big house with ample space also helps. It was horrible when we lived in an apartment and they visited. 
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