Reply to Let brother move in, we are driving each other crazy

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you clearly love your brother, but I have to agree that you are not helping him.

First, this is not entirely your father's fault. Your brother does not need to be taught to wipe up spills. My 3-year-old knows how to do that. Use cloth, wipe. I promise, your 24-year-old brother knows how to do this. He just doesn't care to. And that's a totally different issue. Clearly, he's never cared to - otherwise he would have taken on those tasks after your mom passed. A 12-year-old can do dishes and vacuum. I assume when your mom was alive she made him help with chores like dusting, etc. It might suck that they have to be solely responsible for it, but, honestly, he could have done it. He chose not to. At the end of the day, the reality is that your brother is a slob, just like your father. So stop blaming your father and giving your brother this free pass. Recognize that he is making a choice and simply doesnt mind living this way.

Ditto with the laundry. While he probably didn't know how to do laundry at 12, sounds like you have shown him on multiple occassions. That's more than enough for an adult of at least average intelligence. I promise, your brother knows how to do the laundry. He's overloading because he's too lazy to do the laundry more frequently. That's all there is to it.

So, the first thing you need to do is stop thinking your brother is some helpless victim who needs you to take care of him. He knows how to clean. He doesn't want to. Make that your mindset and proceed accordingly.

So, [/quote]

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