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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly this poster has never dealt with borderline mentally ill people who insist on dramatizing everything. In other words, what you think of as rationally and firmly telling MIL you'd like her to call before coming by and seeing if it is convenient, she will take as "they don't love me and they don't want me in their lives and first they'll ask me to call and then they'll move with no forwarding address . . " and this will be reported to your other similarly insane relatives who will then attempt to organize an intervention with you because you're "thinking of disowning your MIL" or some such thing. Rational behavior and speaking up only works if the people you are dealing with are similarly rational. That's a big, big assumption.[/quote] Sounds like you've met my mother. Speaking up makes things worse and her dramatic tales seem to have convinced relatives that I am the crazy over-sensitive one. The worst incident occurred when I was 13, and told her that I was overcoming some childhood issues that had caused me a lot of angst (not caused by her) and wish that I'd had therapy as a child to help me cope. An hour later my grandmother and dad confronted me, saying my mom was in tears because I'd told her she was a terrible mother. As an adult, I am assertive with rational people, but have finally learned (after many other incidents) that speaking up to my mom only makes the situation worse. [/quote]
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