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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You haven't spoken up.

Your father hasn't spoken up.

Your grandma said they can have stuff.

[b]They are doing the physical labor of sorting and cleaning, which actually isn't easy.[/b]

Grow a backbone and speak now, or forever hold your peace.[/quote]

I agree. Obviously, they shouldn't be taking anything, as it all still belongs to your grandmother. But the house must be cleared out, and the stuff has to go somewhere. You're not helping deal with it, and you're also not making a case with the relatives--or your grandmother--about what is important to you. What do you want them to do with a houseful of stuff?

In our case, I flew out the 800-2500 miles to help sort/pack/clean. Our relative in assisted living had said the things in the house were fair game and didn't really have a plan for them. I was very scrupulous about trying to make sure everyone in the family had a chance to talk about things they valued before anything got removed. And even now, I'm holding onto important family things with the thought that they might go to other relatives later. But in the meantime, they had to be stored somewhere.[/quote]

I also agree.  As you mentioned your uncle is trying to sell the house quickly, so it needs to be cleaned out quickly.  You aren't helping and you aren't speaking up that you want something saved for you.  You do need to send a note to the cousins, not chastising them like you think, but to apologize for not helping out with cleaning up her house for sale and sorting her belongings.  Then you say that you would like to have one or more keepsakes from your grandmother and make a list and ask for at least a couple of items on the list.  Otherwise, you go out and help.   You grandmother has shown in the past that she loves all of her grandchildren and will happily give anything of value in her possession to any of them.  You said yourself:
[quote=OP]Grandma has a history of giving away anything someone asks her for which is how my youngest cousin got her wedding ring and antique sewing machine. [/quote]
which means that your grandmother had a good heart and loved giving her things to her children and grandchildren if they asked for it.  Your cousins also know this and just went to take the keepsakes from their grandmother and knew that she would willingly give it to them.  If you want something, you either have to go there to get it and help clean, speak up for yourself and let them know that you would like something (they can't read your mind and know what you want) or have your father speak up on your behalf.
[/quote]

THANK YOU, common-sense posters! It's really not that complicated:
1) Speak up
2) Help out
3) If you don't do 1 or 2, then shut up.[/quote]

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