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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you don't really have a choice.  I learned from unfortunate past experience with my own dad that men really aren't capable of being alone, and their need for female companionship transcends their (lesser) needs for: respect for their spouse, family, their own children, dignity, and decency.  Your dad is going to go ahead with this no matter how you feel about it, and if you oppose it or express displeasure, YOU are the one he will eliminate from his life.  HIS needs come first, as evidenced by his breezy request to bring his woman to your family's home.  HE isn't concerned about the impact this has on the grand kids because they are trappings of his last female companion (his wife), who is no longer available to him, hence the grand kids are now less important than his new female companion.

Thanks, Dad, for giving me this insight into human/male nature.  Oh yes, I need therapy![/quote]

So, your experience with your father gives you this insight into every single man on Earth?   :roll:   You've got issues.[/quote]

Well, it's been my experience too. Expect your fathers life to be dictated by the new woman and her family. Your father will stop attending his grandchildren so functions in lieu of hers. On the bright side, if she wants him so badly that she is willing to interrupt a marital relationship--which, by the way, folks, only ends upon death or divorce--then she can be his caretaker when he gets sick. The only thing to be wary of is your father dipping into your mothers assets or neglecting her care and financial needs. In that case, I would either push him to divorce her and handle the proceeds from the divorce settlement in her interest, or become her guardian and petition for the divorce yourself. You don't want your mom getting substandard care or, God forbid, the plug pulled too soon because Betty needs $ to send her grandkids to private school. [/quote]

And I will third that opinion. In my case it was an older relative with a younger woman, but I watched her dismantle every major facet of his life. He loved being outdoors, and was highly adventurous. She ensured via major drama that he never really went out further than the pool. Instead of adventure travel, she had them sign up for Rick Steves type tours oin large buses with groups. Almost missed my wedding for one.  She moved his gorgeous study to a drafty barn where everything got ruined. And so on.

The point being, companionship is one thing. But if she is coming to your house, it would set off alarms for me. Does she know your parents are still married and your mom is stable? I would mention you mom a few times during dinner in front of both of them and see how the new woman takes it. If she gets uncomfortable and is less than fully supportive, I would say you have trouble on your hands.

If she can smile and be supportive, inspite of the awkwardness of the situation for her and for everyone, than maybe you have a team player who will help your dad. You might want to ask her what your children could call her if she will be coming to family functions... Aunt Therese? Cousin? And if you feel comfortable, I would just come right out and ask that they rearning from any romantic behavior (little stuff like calling each other honey) that could confuse your children, who loves their grandmother. [/quote]

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