Reply to Taking the plunge (adoption)

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[quote=Anonymous]OP You sound like a very nice person, but...
Pretty much everyone thinks that they can handle two kids -- after all the neighbors all have two. But that is two bio, without SN. 
And they think that SN will not be a problem (that's b/c no one really wants to hear their struggles)
Adoption agencies have their reasons for discouraging two at once. There are so many factors happening at once. You have so many here -- SN, older child, different culture, no husband, not a high income, your sister lives with you now, but is not committed to the idea ... Unlike many people, I know some who have been on your path. It was not the best result. The people I knew had plenty of money, but all those doctor appts ate up the extra pretty quickly. Their bosses were perpetually angry with them for missing so much work. They thought they would send their kid to the local school a few blocks away, but that did not work out. Even the public school that have a "program" are sometimes extremely basic. And they NEVER got married. Even dating was a problem. People looking at the situation from the outside tended to say, no thanks. Do a LOT of research. It is so easy to fall in love with a picture or an information folder, but the reality is very difficult.
30 is very young. I agree with other posters who said try on your own -- being a single mom is plenty challenging itself. Older adopted children are NOT easier than having a baby yourself.[/quote]

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