Reply to Taking the plunge (adoption)

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[quote=Anonymous]I adopted as a single mom at age 30. It's 15 years later and I don't regret it for a single minute.

But I can unequivocally say you are being extremely naive and you are in for a massive let down.

- wait a few years before committing to adoption and during that time try dating again. Dating is super hard once you have a child. It's tough not being a coupled in your early thirties with a kid from a social aspect and don't pretend you won't want to be social. You need to be for your mental health and your child's

- RAD is very possible in any adopted child who has spent time in an institutional setting. For older child adoption you must accept that and parent from day one as if the child has attachment issues. There are many, many adopted Chinese RAD children. In fact, the yahoo group for Chinese children with RAD is one of the oldest and best resources you can find with RAD info. Remember parents parenting these children do not have time to post fancy blogs about their adoption.

- children with special needs need therapy outside of what the school system provides.  What does your insurance cover if at all? Do you know most providers do not take insurance and you first pay out of pocket. A neuropsychology eval can run you $3K or more.

- therapy appointments - how are you getting to those?

- family/friends will tell you beforehand all the help they will give you. Do not count on this. The majority can't or won't help. Remember they are busy with their own lives and if your child has behavior issues they will quickly bail on wanting to help.  Make sure you can afford sitters.

- make sure you are in great shape and great health. If you aren't  spend time getting in shape and taking care of health issues, it's very difficult to single parent if you have a health issue.

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