Reply to How do you enforce the no BF rule ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come from a background where no BF is allowed till college or later. How do you enforce this ?
DD already has a BF in high school and wants justification in this 'rule'. .we tell her she needs to
understand that 1) she may not make the right decisions at this stage..  2) she needs to really focus on what she wants to
pursue in her life (e.g. becoming a Doc).

But DD thinks this BF thing .. she has it under 'control'. but we are very apprehensive.
[b]We obviously do not want her to come home one day with some unexpected outcomes such as a pregnancy.[/b]

Have you dealt with this  Have an appt with  a counselor next week but not sure if that would help..........

[/quote]

That's why you make sure that she knows about your values AND also about using contraception to prevent pregnancy (and condoms to prevent the transmission of STIs). The message is, "We don't think that is appropriate for you to have sex in high school/before marriage/[whatever your values are]. But if you do have sex, use effective contraception! We would rather help you with contraception to prevent pregnancy than help you deal with the consequences of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy." [/quote]

I agree with this--share your values about sex, but also make sure she has the information she needs if she makes other choices.

Also, remember that just having a boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean she will be sexually active, especially right away. So I wouldn't demonize the fact of her having a boyfriend. I would definitely keep the lines of communication open, because if she feels that you are supportive of her, generally speaking, she's more likely to value your advice and ideas. [/quote]

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