Reply to I am considering becoming estranged from my parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could have written this post myself except switch the roles of my parents. Everything rings so true, including the rebellion you had, the ensuing blame you've endured for it. (I am still blamed to this day at age 35) I've come to realize that I am an adult child of an alcoholic and it deeply effected me, my coping skills, my guilt, my need to make everything o.k. for everyone all the time. My dad is a functioning alcoholic that has always held a successful job and  he's not physically abusive but I'm still very affected by it.

Adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs) can and often do suffer from some features of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that are the direct result of living with the traumatizing effects of addiction. Years after we leave behind our alcoholic homes, we carry the impact of living with addiction with us.

I think it would be helpful to you to do some reading about this or visit an al-anon meeting. http://alcoholism.about.com/od/books/tp/acoabooks.htm

I think the guilt of estrangement would bother me more than dealing with my parents and setting healthy boundaries.

Good luck OP. This is a tough one and I feel you.[/quote]This is good advice, OP.  Are you in therapy?  Have you tried attending Al-Anon meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics?  I think you could use some support while you're trying to figure out what to do and when you carry your plan out.  I found that establishing boundaries with my mother helped improve my relationship with her.  Maybe you just need to figure out where your boundaries are and you don't have to completely cut your parents off.  But you may need to cut them off for awhile or permanently.  Ultimately you're the one who has to decide what amount of contact you're willing to accept.  As you know, your parents are not going to change but you can change your behavior and you can decide how much you're willing to expose yourself to such unacceptable treatment. Good luck![/quote]

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