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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL is the queen bee of everyone in her life, i. e. senior position at work, micromanages her adult children, etc. My DH is her much younger brother and she sees him as her oldest child (he's 42....). She and my BIL visit periodically as DH and I have two DC's under 3. No matter what is happening in our professional and personal lives, SIL assumes they are staying at our house. She used to assume we'd do airport drop-off/pick ups and give them one of our cars to use, but that got nixed once the first DC was born. There is absolutely no financial reason they can't stay in a hotel. SIL stays with us to be "family like the old days" when she and DH were growing up. This is ironic since she and I have never gotten along and while I am not blameless overall, I've absolutely been the adult for the last 5 years and tried to make inroads with her to no effect. Also, my BIL is great and we get along really well, which I'm sure displeases her.

SIL knows that I don't like home visits but does not care. This upcoming visit will be particularly difficult for us due to professional and DC related issues and I begged DH please, just this once, make them get s hotel. DH flatly refused, stating that SIL would make the visit a nightmare for him and the rest of us. That she would take it as a personal insult. My mind was blown.

Now now, I know there are a variety of opinions here as far as house guests and expectations, but I can't understand the burning desire to be somewhere under circumstances which are very tough on the host[b]. My own family does hotels and rental cars every time, no issue whatsoever.[/b] Do I just let this one go for DH's sake? Either way, she's coming and I can't stop her....,,[/quote]

OP, there is no way a hotel would fly in my family.  If I visited some relatives and stayed in a hotel, even if I REALLY preferred it, it would be an insult to them.  (No, really, I would rather pay for a nice king size bed than sleep on your living room floor!!)  And if I suggested that someone get a hotel, that would be a slap in the face.  It's a cultural difference and you have to accept that asking them to stay in a hotel would be extremely mean, given their norms.  This is part of what is so hard about blending families.  How do you know that your SIL knows that you don't like home visits, out of curiosity?[/quote]

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