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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been a 2e child, and a teacher in a program for kids with 2e, so my advice comes from that perspective.

I'm wondering why you feel that your son needs to be working at that academic level?  In my experience, there are some kids with 2e and difficulties with self regulation who find academics that challenge them very organizing.  But for many kids, even very bright kids, academic challenge just compounds the challenge associated with being in the classroom.  For those kids, an environment that meets their emotional needs, and reduces the academic challenge, is what lets them develop their self regulation, and executive functioning skills they'll need in the long term.  Your description of frequent meltdowns over academics makes me think he might be in the second category.

From my experience, a child who is significantly gifted, and has age appropriate academic skills and self regulation and executive functioning skills, will generally progress quite quickly when they get to high school, and will be well prepared for a rigorous college.  On the other hand, if a child doesn't develop their self regulation skills because they're putting all their energy into academics, and doesn't develop their executive functioning skills because they're dependent on tutors and parents to get themselves through school, then they often fall apart when they hit the demands of high school.

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I'd prioritize a school that meets his social and emotional needs, and develops his skills in those areas, over a school that pushes him academically.  Long term, my experience tells me that choice will result in stronger social/emotional AND academic skills down the road.  [/quote]

OP here- this is an interesting perspective-- I want to address it because it is something we considered. DS's current school is not his 1st school. We initially had him in a private school that had excellent academics but was very focused on a specific curriculum for each grade. DS is strong in language arts but exceptional in math- his broad math score on the WJ IV was nearly 180. I'm mentioning it because it's so extreme. His first grade teacher provided DS with advanced math and little instruction- he flailed because his EF was not high enough to work independently. She put him back with the regular class, then complained that he spent his time completely inattentive to classroom work and instruction.

It was our first insight that there may not be a perfect solution- we decided to go for the stronger academic stimulation and scaffold the EF and emotional/behavioral. There may be points with DS where we need to scale back academics and focus more on emotional. For instance, my DH and I were talking about a temporary placement at a therapeutic school in our area, if it's clear that DS isn't ready to meet the demands of middle school. My only insight into these hard questions is that it may not be linear with DS- there have been times when he readily takes on hard challenges and other times (like this AM) that he melts down because the remote control doesn't work properly.

I will absolutely agree that if we consistently and wrongly prioritize academic success over emotional development DS won't succeed at either one. [/quote]

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