Reply to MIL just confided in me that she caught FIL in cheating...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Thank you for all the insight.  MIL is staying with us until Sunday and I can't bear to be around her right now.  I feel sick to my stomach with this information and am still very angry at MIL for putting me in this position.  I am 8 months pregnant and don't need this kind of stress.

My fear is that if I tell DH, all of his siblings will find out as well (there are 3 others).  I just can't imagine the fall out from this situation and dealing with all that two months before the baby is due.  I still have not yet made up my mind about whether to tell DH but I am going to have a talk with MIL tonight about how much she has upset me.[/quote]

Yes, OP. You need to talk to MIL and clear the air. Tell her that with a couple days reflection you simply cannot keep her secret from your husband and say that it's unfortunate that she told you something so personal and important because it's causing you significant stress so late in your pregnancy. Tell her that you expect her to discuss her news with your husband before she leaves your home on Sunday. [/quote]

While I actually agree with this poster, I will say that you also need to leave room in all of this for the fact that no one online knows your MIL (and further, most on this board often do carry a bit of IL baggage that its hard not to project onto others' situations). You know if your MIL has manipulative tendencies or not. That might effect your tone and the "place" that you are coming from when talking to her.

If she isnt the manipulative sort, she might have just been really devastated or at her breaking point and just trusts or respects you enough as a person, not just as her DIL, that she unloaded on you.

Still makes it basically a terrible idea because no matter what you are still her DIL, but if you feel like this is the case I'd come from a place of more compassion than confrontation. Since while she did do this "to" you, it might not have been intentional.[/quote]

OP here. She is not typically what I would call a manipulative person.  She had been drinking more at our house than ever before, and seemed unlike herself so it was clear something was up.  When DH went to bed one night she sort of broke down and told me, then hugged me and said that she hadn't told anyone and it was eating her up inside.  I was of course shocked and asked her what she was planning to do.  She said she loves him, forgives him and plans to stay.  That's when she asked me not to tell DH.  I agreed in the moment, caught off guard.  Her reasoning was that DH shouldn't have to see his father in this light, as he's been nothing but a great Dad to him.  [/quote]

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