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[quote=Anonymous]I am a former cutter and I think there is a lot of good advice here. Especially seeking CBT or DBT therapy first and foremost. Secondly, I wouldn't actually try to talk about the cutting so much, it is a symptom of a much deeper pain and I would start with talking about other areas of her life, school, friends, her athletic activities, start with totally nonsensitive items and work your way the ones that are causing her more pain. Obviously a therapist needs to do the therapy, not you, but I think it's important for you to develop this relationship with her since she seems to feel she can't share these things with you. While you say you are not creating a high pressure environment or things are not chaotic, her feelings may not be totally rooted in reality and she may feel differently and have problems with how things are at home and you may be able to help with that. Practice listening to her and accepting and validating her feelings even if you don't agree with what she's saying, brainstorm solutions with her. At the very least she'll feel like she has you to talk to.

I think it's important not to overreact, not supervise her in the shower not lecture her about cutting, because sometimes it can come from feelings of being out of control and powerlessness and that can exacerbate the problem. I also think lecturing is especially counterproductive because it really shuts down the conversation and just puts more shame and guilt on her (which she obviously already feels or she wouldn't be hiding it). I remember people trying to guilt or shame me into stopping, or make me promise i would stop, and sometimes I would really want to, but when my emotions were out of control that was the only tool in my shed and no amount of logic could fix my emotional problem.

After therapy I think talking and listening to her is the best thing that you can do. Beyond that there are a lot of things that have helped in my personal experience and are backed by research including: excersize, meditation, volunteer work, church & nature. I never found a good therapist when I was younger, but later in my 20's I found some good DBT workbooks on amazon that helped me to develop skills to deal with my emotions, so I also recommend those, but a therapist should probably advise on that.[/quote]

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