Reply to Husband who has never rejected me ever just did it twice in one week

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[quote=Anonymous]I am going to take a shot at this - pure speculation and your situation might be totally different.

I am the higher drive DH married to a DW.  We averaged 1x per week, sometimes less, sometimes more.  When we did have sex, often it was just her taking one for the team.  Needless to say, the constant rejection stung.  Not so much that I couldn't appreciate I wanted more sex - that is really common for men - but that even when we did have it, it was often just for me.  Resentment grew, creeping feelings that the marriage wasn't working, etc.

Sometimes, when my wife would initiate, and it was not because she was turned on, but because she wanted to placate me, I would turn her down.  I know, dysfunctional dynamic, but it was a passive aggressive way of saying "screw you" for your pity.

So I wonder if all those years of rejection have eaten at him.  Now you want sex, do you?  Convenient that you want since it is for the purpose of making a baby.  He is finally the one, for the first time, who can make you feel the sting of rejection.

Also, a funny thing happened on the way to our high drive - low drive marriage.  I really lost some attraction to my DW.  Both of us are conventionally attractive and in shape, so it wasn't either of our appearances.  But rejection over the years makes someone unattractive.  Plus, its ugly when someone who is supposed to be your sex partner is giving you pity sex.

We are climbing out of this funk, slowly, as she regains her libido post little kids.  But I vividly remember the erosion of our marriage and the resentment of low drive spouses rejection.

Not sure what advice I can give you other than see if you can really rock his world when you have sex.  Try fulfilling a fantasy you may have previously shrugged off.  Show him you want sex with him because he is sexy, not because he has sperm.

Good luck,[/quote]

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