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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. [b]Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process.[/b] Once you  and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

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I'm quite certain I've had more kids go through the college application process than you have . . .

Parent over-involvement adds stress to the process.  If your child is capable of understanding and meeting deadlines in their course work, they're perfectly capable of meeting deadlines in the college application process.  Remember, too, that they will be surrounded by other students also going through the process, so they won't need reminders from you that there's work to do -- they'll hear it from their peers.

Another problem with parental over-involvement is that it sends the message to the kids that you're as vested in their college choices as they are, compounding the disappointment that they'll feel when they are inevitably rejected from some of their schools because they'll feel like they disappointed you.

I wouldn't go beyond this:  Tell them from the get go what you can afford to and/or are willing to pay so there are no surprises down the road.  Then suggest that  they apply to about six to eight colleges -- no more than that -- and that they make sure the list includes one financial and admission safety that they'd actually be happy enough to attend if they had to.  Then encourage them to divide the remaining applications to include a good second tier school or two where their numbers are above the average and that offer merit aid, along with a couple of matches (schools in which they are very interested and where the admission rate is 50 percent or higher and their numbers are in the top 1/3 of applicants) and a couple of reaches (any school where the admissions rate is below 40/50 percent and their numbers are below the top 25 percent).  Finally, once they get in, discourage them from taking out loans to attend the top college that accepts them if they don't need loans (or a lot fewer loans) to attend choice number 2 or 3.  They'll thank you later.

They'll come back with questions, and you can and should of course offer your opinions.  But let them drive the process.

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