Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

17:09 again -- OP says their counselor isn't average, but great. This may be a public/private thing. At my kids' private, they do remind you of deadlines and if a student needs extra reminders will do so. Thats why before OP concludes what will or won't happen she should speak directly with the counselor.

As for my previous post about "not ready for college," I should clarify. Sometimes when people procrastinate above and beyond (I don;t mean wait until the last minute but seem to make no effort toward the goal) its because they are ambivalent about going. A student who can't bring himself to submit applications even with reminders about deadlines may be a student who needs a gap year before they feel ready. Thats what I meant by discussing it. If you find that reminders aren;t enough maybe figure out why.

I don't think you understand the ratio of number of kids per GC in a public school. It a totally different ballgame than private schools.

That was my point. If OP's DC is in a private school it is a different situation than public.

Anonymous wrote:I think there's real danger in holding back applications until you hear from an EA or rolling admit safety school. When your kid gets Dec 24th news that U Mich has deferred decision on his/her application, how nightmarish is it going to be to get out four or five more apps before Jan 1? How possible is it going to be, over the holidays, to get others to send scores, transcripts, and letters of recommendation to those schools on time? To me, assuming you can afford to do so (or can get fee waivers), it makes sense to send everything your kid can't control directly (scores, transcripts, letters) out as soon as they're ready (presumably by EA deadlines) and to have the online stuff ready to go at the push of a button. Also, note that some schools (Universities of California) have regular deadlines that are before EA results are out.

This isn't an argument against applying EA to safety schools where feasible -- it'd be great to have good news early -- just about postponing other apps until you have a result.

Have you been paying attention? Michigan is no one's safety school . . .

I think there's real danger in holding back applications until you hear from an EA or rolling admit safety school. When your kid gets Dec 24th news that U Mich has deferred decision on his/her application, how nightmarish is it going to be to get out four or five more apps before Jan 1? How possible is it going to be, over the holidays, to get others to send scores, transcripts, and letters of recommendation to those schools on time? To me, assuming you can afford to do so (or can get fee waivers), it makes sense to send everything your kid can't control directly (scores, transcripts, letters) out as soon as they're ready (presumably by EA deadlines) and to have the online stuff ready to go at the push of a button. Also, note that some schools (Universities of California) have regular deadlines that are before EA results are out.

This isn't an argument against applying EA to safety schools where feasible -- it'd be great to have good news early -- just about postponing other apps until you have a result.

I'd suggest having at least one safety that will get back to you before Christmas. Not all of of the early decision/early action schools do this. Some (big names) didn't respond until mid-late January, which is after the deadline for submission for regular decision. If your student knows they are at least in somewhere before the Dec 31 deadline for many regular decision schools, they won't have to expend all that effort on extra safeties. They can focus on matches and reaches.

Anonymous wrote:The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

And one more thing: it shouldn't be the parent and the child deciding where to apply. The choice should be exclusively the child's, again after they'll told what you're willing to pay and the dangers of loans and they're given the brief tutorial that I've suggested above on how many schools to apply to and how to choose them.

Anonymous wrote:The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

I'm quite certain I've had more kids go through the college application process than you have . . .

Parent over-involvement adds stress to the process. If your child is capable of understanding and meeting deadlines in their course work, they're perfectly capable of meeting deadlines in the college application process. Remember, too, that they will be surrounded by other students also going through the process, so they won't need reminders from you that there's work to do -- they'll hear it from their peers.

Another problem with parental over-involvement is that it sends the message to the kids that you're as vested in their college choices as they are, compounding the disappointment that they'll feel when they are inevitably rejected from some of their schools because they'll feel like they disappointed you.

I wouldn't go beyond this: Tell them from the get go what you can afford to and/or are willing to pay so there are no surprises down the road. Then suggest that they apply to about six to eight colleges -- no more than that -- and that they make sure the list includes one financial and admission safety that they'd actually be happy enough to attend if they had to. Then encourage them to divide the remaining applications to include a good second tier school or two where their numbers are above the average and that offer merit aid, along with a couple of matches (schools in which they are very interested and where the admission rate is 50 percent or higher and their numbers are in the top 1/3 of applicants) and a couple of reaches (any school where the admissions rate is below 40/50 percent and their numbers are below the top 25 percent). Finally, once they get in, discourage them from taking out loans to attend the top college that accepts them if they don't need loans (or a lot fewer loans) to attend choice number 2 or 3. They'll thank you later.

They'll come back with questions, and you can and should of course offer your opinions. But let them drive the process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

17:09 again -- OP says their counselor isn't average, but great. This may be a public/private thing. At my kids' private, they do remind you of deadlines and if a student needs extra reminders will do so. Thats why before OP concludes what will or won't happen she should speak directly with the counselor.

As for my previous post about "not ready for college," I should clarify. Sometimes when people procrastinate above and beyond (I don;t mean wait until the last minute but seem to make no effort toward the goal) its because they are ambivalent about going. A student who can't bring himself to submit applications even with reminders about deadlines may be a student who needs a gap year before they feel ready. Thats what I meant by discussing it. If you find that reminders aren;t enough maybe figure out why.

I don't think you understand the ratio of number of kids per GC in a public school. It a totally different ballgame than private schools.

Anonymous wrote:The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

17:09 again -- OP says their counselor isn't average, but great. This may be a public/private thing. At my kids' private, they do remind you of deadlines and if a student needs extra reminders will do so. Thats why before OP concludes what will or won't happen she should speak directly with the counselor.

As for my previous post about "not ready for college," I should clarify. Sometimes when people procrastinate above and beyond (I don;t mean wait until the last minute but seem to make no effort toward the goal) its because they are ambivalent about going. A student who can't bring himself to submit applications even with reminders about deadlines may be a student who needs a gap year before they feel ready. Thats what I meant by discussing it. If you find that reminders aren;t enough maybe figure out why.

The average high school counselor isn't going to remind your DD about application deadlines. Those responders who say "hands off" are naive to the process. Once you and your DD have decided on the schools she will apply, gather drop dead due dates and setup a working calendar of all requirements. ALWAYS plan to get apps in early (keeps the stress level down). Have a conversation with someone (preferably from your high school) that has gone thru this process recently. They will be a wealth of information.

Anonymous wrote:Fellow Parents of Students that will graduate HS in 2016. What are you doing to help your student to get organized and find their way through this process? If you have a self-starter and you will be completely "hands-off", no need to comment. Unfortunately, my DD is very unorganized and somewhat a procrastinator (like her mom), and I know she will need some help. Her school has an excellent college counselor, so I know she is getting the needed info, but I also want to support her and be involved. So far, I have bought a large wall hanging calendar, so she can start filling in the various deadlines for apps, scholarships, etc. I also want to start some sort of file for each of the schools that she will be applying to, but not sure exactly what type is needed. I'm not trying to be a helicopter mom, but I think this process is too important to have her fall flat on her face.

What else, if anything, are parents doing to aid in this process? TIA

Highly visible reminders for important dates is a good idea. Make sure dates are synched across all resources so you don't have one date on a phone calendar and a different one on the wall calendar.

If she still has essays to write, sit down and work out a schedule with her. Be realistic. Planning and time management are not skills that are very well taught, if ever, in school today. How many days for drafting? how many days for editing? etc.

School visits - will you do any? If so, look for the weekends you as a family have a available and start planning those trips now.

I had a friend's daughter visiting from overseas. She plans to apply, so I took her to see some schools this summer and helped her figure out a short list of schools to which she could apply. We also cross-referenced which schools give the most aid to foreign students. A bit complicated as she wants to play sports, so we looked at Division I vs. II vs. III. She then downloaded the apps and started working on the required essays plus those for her top schools. She was with us three weeks, and by the time she left, she had six essays in pretty good draft form. Also went over financial aid forms with her and printed those out, explained how she needs to talk to her parents about that part. She is obviously very driven and self-motivated. I think even if kids haven't decided which schools yet, they could be knocking out the Common App essays now.

"whether she's ready to go to college"

Pls parents don't assume nervous procrastination means this

There's a lot to unpack in this thread. First of all, college counselors vary widely. If the one at your DC's school is not great then, yes, you have to do more. But if she is great -- as OP says -- then don't take over the process.

And don't get things done for your DC whatever you do. She has to be able to do this herself.

It sounds like OP's primary concern is deadlines. Thats very easy -- speak to the college counselor and make sure she knows this is an issue. I wrote this before -- if one is looming get back to her to do the reminding. Only step in if its come down to "you are grounded until you do X" because she truly is up against it. But if you reach that point after reminders, then you and she need to have a talk about whether she's ready to go to college.

My oldest DC owned the process. We did basically nothing. Second child has executive functioning issues so the approach will be that we have to proofread everything. But thats it for our input. The essay will go through the college counselor (who is great in our case).

Be very careful about making this your project. It is stressful enough to begin with, you will only add to the stress if you do this. Plus the colleges tend to be better fits when the applicants have freer reign to explore them and make their own decisions. With DC1 just pointing something out "have you thought about this issue?" set her off.

The sense I get is that you are very excited to jump in. I get that. But you have to ask yourself at each step -- is this for her, or is this for me? Even expressing concerns -- is this because of my own anxiety or for her?

My DC just enrolled in a decent university, it was unbelievable how resistant DC was to applying, picking campuses to visit etc. A schoolmate told me the sheer volume of info to be sorted through, the number of colleges to investigate became overwhelming. So I finally picked out 50 colleges which I could make work financially with scholarships or DCTAG, and told DC to pick schools from the list. Luckily I had a few scanty criteria from DC: no schools smaller than the current high school and no rural schools.

Ivy grad friend of DS was grounded in order to finish his applications. It happens. It's deer-in-the-headlights for some students. I've seen it w/tippy top students, and bottom of the class. It's not an indication of who's ready for college or who isn't.