Reply to 'closed' adoption agencies

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Reply to "'closed' adoption agencies"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks so much for all the responses. I would never hide the fact of adoption and -- assuming we know the identity and have the ok from birth mother -- would be 100% fine with the child meeting his/her birth parent as an older teenager. That would seem a cruel denial! I just don't want it to be part of everyday life.

Are there any recommendations for agencies? [/quote]

What I mean is, though, it might not be just a one-time meeting as an older teenager.  It might be an ongoing relationship with birth parents and siblings that is part of your child's life, maybe not every day but on a monthly or annual basis, for a long long time.  You need to understand that there is a whole birth family out there, and ultimately it is them and the child, not you, who will determine how much contact happens in the late teens and adulthood.[/quote]

Yes, thank you - I am aware of this. I have friends who were adopted as infants. One wanted nothing to do with her birth mother - no interest in meeting. One who searched for years, but could never find her until the woman died (in prison). Another who met his birth mother and it was...fine, he said; not life changing. My doctor was adopted, but it was closed.

Perhaps I should be more clear: I'd like an agency that is not solely open adoption. Where I live, the big push is for open adoption that includes ongoing visitation; that's not for me -- despite the agency's high success rates.[/quote]

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