Reply to Parents with Transgender or gender non-conforming children.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] We are aware he may be gay, but refuse to label our child.  As for now he's just DS.
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He's seven.  And you [i]are [/i]labeling him.

When I was six, I wanted to dress like Daddy.  I wore brown corduroys and played with trucks.  I didn't even own dolls.

I'm now 36, straight, and married to a man.  That kind of behavior in a child likely means nothing.

You're really reaching.  I suspect this is just another case of parents wanting to feel there is something "special" about their child.[/quote]

Yes, OP is labeling the child as "possibly gay". I don't perceive that as a problem. Every seven-year-old child is possibly gay (as well as possibly not-gay).

OP is also labeling the child as "gender non-conforming", which seems to me an accurate description of "a very happy boy, who just enjoys things that are stereotypically feminine".[/quote]

Right, so why label a child as possibly gay?  Why introduce that thought into their head?  Why not just let things go where they go?
[/quote]

It's only a problem if you think being gay is wrong, and OP specifically asked folks to refrain from homophobia on this thread.  I introduce the idea to my kids that they might marry a man OR a woman, which won't make them gay but will make them know that I really don't care if they are.

To the OP - I think gender nonconforming is a good way to think about this.  It may change with time or it may not, but I do think that getting him into a therapist to work on resiliency might not be the worst idea.  [/quote]

[b]You introduce the idea to your kids that they might marry a man OR a women?  Is this the new normal?[/b]
[/quote]

Absolutely!  We tell our children that boys can marry girls, girls can marry girls, and boys can marry girls.  One of my proudest mom moments was when my son corrected his grandmother when she told him boys marry girls.  He said, "My mama says that boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls if they want to."

At this point, this is legally accurate.  Whether you agree with it or not, our children will grow up with this reality. [/quote]

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