Reply to Underdeveloped conscience, apathy, what is it?

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[quote=Anonymous]Is this consistent with how he has always been, or is it something new (e.g., tween/teenishness obnoxiousness)? I have an 11yo who has always had an incredibly soft heart; his brother is very sweet, but less emotional. For example they both love nature but the older one still will not watch a nature show in which an animal is killed by another animal or dies etc. He will leave the room or turn the channel. The younger one doesn't get as upset. I don't think the 6yo is un-empathetic (I know he's not) but their personalities are different with respect to how they process upsetting information. Your son may just be processing the foster child issue less emotionally than you or I might.

Secondly, even in my sweet 11yo, we now see routine streaks of pure and unadulterated obnoxiousness than I'm blaming on puberty. He can be such a jerk at times! Most recently when he was behaving in a way that I found horrible (entitled, rude, stubborn), I literally just stuck the Post magazine I'd been reading in his hands. I had him read the profile of 5 kids who'd come solo to the US without documents. It was mostly upbeat but talked about their journeys and their struggles since arriving in the US. He read the whole thing, then put it down and started crying. The tween obnoxiousness thing went out the window for a few hours. I don't think it would have been as effective if I had lectured him (as I do) about how lucky he is to have what he has in life (a house, a family, a good school, etc); he needed to come to a conclusion on his own. If you're worried about your son's attitude toward others, try finding some ways for him to learn about those less fortunate on his own rather than being lectured by a parent.

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