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[quote=Anonymous]

OP,

This sounds exactly like my 10 year old son, who has ADHD and Asperger's.

That type of child, inquisitive and curious about adult subjects, is a joy to interact with intellectually. DS reads the New Yorker, listens to NPR, and has opinions and ideas on a host of current and historical issues.

However these kids can be very detached and clinical - which is great for future careers in STEM! My husband with ADHD and Asperger's has multiple graduate degrees and does cancer research, after spending some years in emergency medecine. These occupations fit him - it is easy for him to get past an extremely emotionally charged atmosphere, and hyperfocus on saving lives.

What you need to do is train his empathy. DH lacks empathy. His brain works on finding solutions to problems, not sympathizing with patients or family members! So every time your son expresses his underdeveloped empathy, stop the flow and hone in on that. Ask how he FEELS about the situation. Most the time, DS feels nothing. He has answered enough of my questions to know he *should* be feeling something, so he can usually answer correctly, but I can tell the true feeling is not there... yet.

Your son is not unloving or cruel, OP. He won't end up shooting elementary schoolers, if that's what you're afraid of. But empathy needs to be developed diligently and systematically, by you.

PS: ADHD is brought on by a lack of dopamine, the neurotransmitter of the frontal lobe, which delays development of that part of the brain, responsible for mature judgement and impulse inhibition. Asperger's, a form of high-functioning autism, is a disorder of social communication, which interferes with understanding and expressing appropriate verbal and non-verbal cues. Both can lead to an apparent lack of empathy.

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