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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Parents with Transgender or gender non-conforming children."
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[quote=Anonymous]Does he say he was born in the wrong body? Or thinks he's a girl in a boy's body? Or denies that he's a boy or that he should be a boy? Or gets upset or angry if you refer to him as a boy? I'm no expert, but my understanding of transgender is that it's about core identity -- who a person is -- and a belief that there's a complete disconnect between who the person is and the body they're in. In contrast, it's not about their interests and tastes and whether those conform to current society's beliefs about what's appropriate for boys vs. girls. You mention your DS's taste in toys. And his friends. To me, this is far from transgender. As for gender non-conforming, I'm not sure what that means for a seven year old. Our society (including companies that market and sell products) has a lot of ideas about what are "boy things" and what are "girl things." Those ideas are not fixed -- they change with the times, and in my opinion they're getting more bifurcated with each decade. In my experience, there are plenty of seven year olds who don't fit that exact mold. Normal and not worth a second thought as long as the kid is happy and growing etc. Also, FWIW, I have a second grade DD who wears her brother's clothes (and his friends' hand me downs) and hasn't worn dresses in years. Has always played with more boys than girls, likely because their interests are more aligned (sports, cars, Pokemon, science etc.), though that is changing a bit lately as she's finding more girls with common interests. Probably not a coincidence that this is the age where most of the girls seem to have outgrown princesses and Frozen etc. Anyway, the definition of "gender conforming" is actually pretty broad in my experience. That said, I know there's a double standard on some level -- tomboy girls are accepted and even applauded in some circles, while the same is not always true for the boy equivalent. But in the end, I fear that's because society still prioritizes stereotypical male behavior over anything deemed female. It sucks, and I hope it changes in our lifetime. Meanwhile, does this whole discussion remind anyone else of the Dar Williams song, "When I was a Boy"? :) http://www.metrolyrics.com/when-i-was-a-boy-lyrics-dar-williams.html [/quote]
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