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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn't 100% analogous, but my entire childhood I thought my maternal grandfather (whom I am very close to) was biologically related to me. When I was 21 (and randomly sitting in the airport with my dad), my dad explained to me that my biological grandfather died in a car crash when my mom was around 4, and my grandmother married my grandfather a couple years later. It only made me love my grandfather more, and see what a wonderful man he is. I think finding out at that age was fine since I was adult enough to understand what everthing met, and didn't feel like my whole understanding of my mom's life was a lie.

That said, I've never been able to talk to my mom about it (more than 10 years later).  In your case, if I was in the child's shoes, I'd want this info to come from my mom, and then set up a time for the three of us (mom, dad and child) to talk about it. Also talk about who this information should be shared with - the information about my grandfather is only something I share with people who are very close to me.  [/quote]

Same here. And finding out made me love him 10x more because it's hard to take in a child that isn't your own and treat them identical to your real children.[/quote]

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