Reply to Am I obligated to give the eulogy or even any speech?

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[quote=Anonymous]As ever, a couple of posters have risen to DCUM's finest level (not).

OP, frankly, it *is too* about you (one PP) and you are under NO obligation to 'rise above' anything.

One poster suggested that perhaps you write something and have someone else read it (I've even seen clergy read what family have written).  If you feel up to speaking (but not your own words), you could ask one of your sibs or your aunt to write and offer to read the words yourself.

Finally, is there * any * friend or relative who could do this for you?  When my MIL died, I gave her eulogy, but I spent some time visiting with her family and friends and putting together their memories and sharing them.  If someone to whom you are close could do this for your family (and even mention 'this is so and so's memory' as they offer anecdotes), that might help.

But at the end of the day, you mourn as you need to, and that's that.  I will never forget one of our neighbors -- a woman who cherished her husband -- staying home the day of his funeral.  The reception following was at her home, and she was there, but she couldn't bring herself to go through the service.  I thought then and think now that this required immense courage but was 'just right' for her and for her deceased husband.  How you grieve is your business, and if that means no eulogy, then it's no eulogy.  Period.

May you find as much comfort as you can in the coming days -- I am sorry for your loss.[/quote]

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