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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was raped by my BIL when I was 17.  My sis had 1 son with him at the time.  My nephew is now married and having a baby (baby shower this wknd).  I was invited to the wedding 3 years ago but didn't attend because his father (ex-BIL that raped me) is now a pastor and was performing the ceremony.  Now, the baby shower in which his father has also been invited to attend.  I've decided to not attend that either.  The question is now DD is questioning why I do not attend my nephews events and thinks I'm being rude.  She wants to go (all her cousins will be there).  I have forgiven him, but don't want to socialize with him or even be in the same room with him.  I also have one sister that does not attend any event that he is at either.

I'm not sure what my nephew knows (he was only 2 at the time), and it has always been this dark cloud over the family.  Should I tell my DD?  I don't want her to think badly about me or her Aunt (my sister).  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  TIA![/quote]

OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you.  I completely understand your feelings.  [b]Have you spoken with the other sister who doesn't attend these events?  [/b]Was she raped as well?

I would [b]talk to a rape counselor[/b] about how to address this with your DD.  If you tell her something vague as "ex-BIL hurt me," she will probably put two and two together.[/quote]

This is the sister that told me he was invited to the event and would be attending.  She wasn't raped, but she doesn't want to see him either (my 2 sisters and him were all very good friends - he lived across the street from us before he dated/married my sister).

I'm done with rape counselors! I had 2 male counselors tell me I was most likely dressed too provocatively that evening.[/quote]

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