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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm still in shock, a bit, that I've found my birth mother!  She lives overseas and when we meet for the first time, I'd like to bring a gift.  Gift-giving is big in her culture and I know other adoptees who've run afoul of customs with their gifts.  Any ideas for an appropriate gift? The reason I was placed for adoption was poverty and while I've been told she's ok now, I want to make sure whatever I give is not too much but not too little.  I'm definitely going to make a photo album for her, but am looking for other things as well.  I also have three brothers and am told at least three nieces and nephews- what for them as well?[/quote]

Please don't romanticize this too much -- it scares people from wanting to adopt.[/quote] More importantly, when expectations are too high and romanticism runs rapid, it sets the state for soul crushing disappointment.[/quote]

OP here.  I don't know why I'm responding to this post, but I suppose I couldn't resist.  If prospective adoptive parents can't handle the fact that someone may want to know more about their origins AND want to reassure their birth mother that they turned out ok, then they shouldn't adopt.

Don't worry about soul crushing disappointment either.  This is not the best thing to ever happen to me (that's my husband and kids) so if things don't work out, it won't be the worst thing either.

And, this may blow your mind, but my parents (the people who raised me and whom I have always and will always consider my parents) are coming with me to meet my birth family.  I'm also an adoptive parent so I know how it works on both sides of the equation.[/quote] As do I, which is why I suggested cautious optimism. I know what it is like when dreams don't match reality--especially of concern when cultural expectations are not in sync. Good luck to you and best wishes for a happy reunion.[/quote]

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