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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is HUGE that your daughter told you. I was raped in high school and I never told anyone until this year (and I am in my 40s) when I told ONE friend. My DH doesn't even know.

I would never have, and never will, tell my mother. So that speaks volumes about your relationship.

The most important thing, in my opinion, is that you strike a balance, tough as it is, between making too big a deal of this and trying to gloss over it.

So, let her know it was a terrible thing, that many many women experience and she is NOT alone. And that you will take her at a drop of a hat to any therapist or support group in town. And that if she has triggers or PTSD, come up with a code word and that's all she 'll need to say and you can immediately leave the parking lot, or library or wherever without her having to explain.

But at the same time, don't invade her privacy or smother her. Sadly, she will have to heal. Not you for her. She will have to learn to cope with the pain and shame and a therapist can help, but some of this work she is just going to need to do on her own. This will be tough for you.

So, while you don't want to brush off what happened, try not to look at her with whimpering eyes and constantly ask if she's OK and does she want to talk and treat her like a porcelain doll.

She does not need to deal with your guilt as well as her own issues. This is why I never told my mom.

One final note, get her involved in something new fun and fantastic, even if you think it's lame. Some hobby, some sport, just something she can DO and pour her energy into. The danger is the black hole of pain and active people don't fall down those black holes.

Good luck.[/quote]

OP here and your post is so helpful to me. Thank you so much for posting. I agree that I'll need to walk the fine line between being supportive without smothering. What is the best strategy? Simply let her know I'm here to talk and then never speak of it unless she does?

The idea of a new hobby is a fantastic one. She's really into makeup. Will look to see if there's a cosmetology class she can take to give her an outlet.

Again, many thanks for your post. It's a lifeline for me right now. [/quote]

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