Reply to Vent - I hate talking to my dad

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP. I have a different perspective for you- not better, just different. My father was also from Hungary. He came to the US as a political refugee after escaping through Austria (he was a scholar, and the government made it clear that he would not be permitted to leave freely). His experiences were so traumatic that he never discussed them with me- ever. He never taught me Hungarian because he wanted no reminders of what he had been through. The only Hungarian history I learned was on visits there with family who took me to monuments, etc and explained what they meant.
 
My dad was a complex, isolated, paranoid person until he died. I was his best friend. When I did learn some of the things he had been through (on his deathbed, from his sister as she spoke with him) I understood him more fully and wished I had known those things about him before, and what he had gone through.

I guess what I'm saying is: try very hard to appreciate your dad and what he's come through, while ignoring the noise. Try not to let the extra stuff impact your relationship. It's a rough history- Budapest was destroyed and rebuilt 11 times, and so were other areas. I have family who also feel like Hungarian history is ignored/ not discussed because it's such a small country. Maybe you can reach a peace accord- we discuss _____ when only family is around, or ___ members of family who are good at diverting him, or something?

Thanks for reading, anyone who read- it just felt good to type all that out. :)[/quote]

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