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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the parenting classes I've taken pretty much say to ignore tone and focus on actions. If they're doing what you ask, just pretend you didn't notice the sarcasm in the tone.

This is rather hard to do, of course.

A friend just posted this to FB today. Maybe it's helpful?

http://www.emotionalgeographic.com/blog-1/2015/6/23/parent-corner-the-letter-your-teenager-cant-write-you[/quote] Like employers, professors and police officers are going to ignore "tone." Part of our job is to teach them how to behave in the world.[/quote]

Sure, but home is a very different space than the work place, out in public and in the classroom. Kids feel safe trying out their "tone" with family because they know they love them unconditionally. They're less likely to try these things out with strangers because they don't know what the reaction will be.

As a parent I absolutely agree that it's my job to teach my kids (ages 10 & 14). But I won't do a very good job of it if I'm not careful about which battles to fight. There are times when it's totally appropriate to ignore the moodiness and surliness. And there are times when it's appropriate to address it. [/quote]

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