Reply to "Demand" teen speak respectfully, or just let it go?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our 14yo DD is a great kid, but definitely metamorphosed into an often cranky teenager this past year. Sometimes it seems as though every single interaction we have with her is laced with her sharp-edged tone. Call her name, and she replies "What?!"; ask or remind her to do something, and she cuts us off brusquely with "okay, okay!" and leaves the room while we're still talking; and don't even get me started on her "sorry"s--they are the sorriest and most hostile I've ever heard. I know this all sounds petty, but--wait for it--we never would have spoken to our parents that way.

Do you tolerate this kind back talk from your teens? If not, what is the consequence and--most important--does it work?[/quote]

Honestly, you really might be talking too much.  Not that that justifies her behavior, but take a look at yourself and see if you're rambling, repeating yourself, or expecting her to listen to the same lecture over and over.  Most reminders can be issued in one short sentence.  [/quote]
[b]
Even better if done in one word.  Eg "Coat" means please hang up your coat[/b].[/quote]

I remember reading this advice (can't remember where) and trying it out on my oldest (who's now 24).  He smiled very sweetly and said, "What's the magic word?" And he was absolutely right --  it's important to say please and thank you, even when your request is one you've made a gazilion times.

My advice: avoid the lectures, but model civility.  Ditto with tone of voice.  If they give you snarky tone, you can just say in a calm way, "Let's try that one again, OK."  It's important to teach your children how not to take their bad moods out on others.

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