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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ILs live out of state and they never visit me or one of my wife's sisters.  But they manage to visit a third sister about 10 times per year (also out of state).  They know they're welcome, we've done everything we can to be gracious hosts.  But they've clearly chosen favorites and its not us.  So they have no relationship with five of their grandchildren except (on occasion) speaking with them on the phone.  When that does happen, they've managed to talk about the two grandchildren the DO see regularly.  My wife is hurt and resentful and unfortunately that has manifested in my daughter as well.  My son honestly doesn't think about them at all.

I'm pretty much past all of it.  They're free to make whatever choices they want, we'll see if things change in the future but its going to be tough to reestablish any kind of relationship with them.  No real chance of them ever having a relationship with our kids- son is off to college in a year and daughter would take a lot of time and effort to bring around.  I've quietly wondered if the next time my kids see them will be at one of their funerals.  I don't understand how they can consciously make that choice.

Its really sad, especially in contrast with my parents who are actively involved with our lives despite their failing health in the last few years.  [/quote]

I always wondered how parents can do that.  I am an only child, but my mil does the same thing to my husband. His sister was the golden child, and she works her into every conversation, I dont care what the subject is.  We have given her the only grandchildren that she will have, and yet she takes no interest in them.  I get so mad! Not for me, because I couldnt care less, but it really hurts my husband even now.  Its like he still tries to curry favor with them and they dont care.[/quote]

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