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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "So torn about #2"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand where you're coming from, OP. There's no right or wrong answer. My DS was much like your DD as a baby, and it took us a long time to even consider the idea of having a second. [b] I remember many of our friends getting pregnant again when DS was about 1.5, and we talk to each other, "Are they CRAZY?"[/b] We were just finally sleeping through the night and so happy to have reflux and allergies under control with our DS. Fast forward to about 2.5, and I was really ready to have another, even kicking myself for not trying sooner. It took us about 6 months to get pregnant, which felt like forever. Now I'm expecting #2 and genuinely excited about it. Sure, I'm irritated by the thought of going back to sleepless nights and infant crying, but I'm also excited to expand our family and have another child. I wouldn't do it unless you feel this way. You might have a few doubts, and that's normal, but you should generally want another child if you decide to try to conceive one. I know it happens by accident for many, and that's fine, but if you are considering it a decision, I would definitely wait until you feel ready and desirous. You might be surprised by how fast this changes for you! As for the situation with your friends, I wouldn't rush it just for that reason. I definitely feel that a sense of community pushed me to want to have our second because my very good friend was trying to get pregnant at that time, and suddenly, we were surrounded by a lot of families with multiple kids (whereas it had been mostly single kids before that). If you're already around that and still not feeling totally ready to take the leap for #2, give it more time. You can't wait forever, but you also don't need to rush into it.[/quote] This is so close to our experience is well. Cousins and friends had 3 kids in the same time span that we had our two and it seemed absolutely insane to us. DS was a difficult, high-needs baby and toddler. By the time he was 3, it was totally different - he was verbal, potty trained, sleeping at night, able to self entertain for a bit. DD was born when he was 3 years, 3 months. I'm glad we didn't wait longer. Now, DD is a year away from kindergarten - we are nearly done with daycare/preschool, the kids play together well and are generally getting to be a lot of fun. Don't worry about your friends having kids older than yours. It's really fine, plus you'll meet new families anyway with kids closer in age to yours. I think a lot of this depends on your situation. If you have another right now, will you have 2 kids in daycare at the same time? Is this something you can deal with financially? If you SAH can you afford preschool? It helped me [i]so much[/i] to be able to drop DS off at preschool several mornings a week, where he got to play with kids his own age and get attention from wonderful teachers, while I could get errands done or just stay home with the newborn and catch a little nap. That said - babies aren't babies for long. You suck it up during the hardest months, then they get older. [b]Plan for the number of kids you want, not babies.[\b] And don't assume they will fight like cats and dogs. A lot of that is parenting.[/quote] I like this a lot. But, also people have to be cognizant of the toll parenting young children can have on your marriage, mental health, and more. I want two children, but I'm not sure either can handle it given our high needs baby with colic. Sure, she will grow up, and someday it will get better, but it's not an insignificant amount of time.[/quote]
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